Open Are Our Marriages

In today's world where gender dynamics change everyday, relationships are being redefined. There was a time when the only man/men a married woman knew outside of her husband were her brother-in-law/s but all that has changed. Men and women are increasingly meeting new people at their workplace, in social circles and at other informal interactions. How does this impact the man-woman relationship and more specifically, marriages?
For a very long time I thought that open marriages were a totally western concept. So one lazy Sunday afternoon, I sift through this lifestyle magazine during my pedicure session and stumble upon this article on open marriages in India. Surprise, surprise! So-called taboo topics like open marriages and swingers clubs seemed to be the buzz word among urban young couples.

View: Couples in open marriages justify their choice as a more pragmatic approach to deal with infidelityand the shock and trauma that the significant other goes through.

Gone are the days when marriages were meant to be water-tight units that bound individuals together; notions of freedom, space and choice are increasingly gaining popularity.
We all perceive our married life to be a certain way and when it turns out to be quite different from what we expected, what do we do? Do we spend our entire life learning to live with what we have? Do we walk out of our marriage? Or do we accept our marriage the way it is and actively pursue what's missing outside?
Their argument is that when individuals in a marriage admit to being attracted to someone else at some point or the other in their relationship, then they might as well be open about it.
Marriage doesn't change basic human nature; there'll always be this conflict (momentary or persistent) when you might be attracted to someone else. Why curb your natural feelings rather than being open about it?
Some couples prefer to rather have the option of being in an open marriage than have their partner cheat on them without their knowledge.
Most men admit that at some point in their married lives, they seek sexual gratification elsewhere; in an open marriage, the women at least has the option of having an alternative choice rather than remaining in the dark about her spouse's sexcapades.

Popular Matrimony

Sriram Raghavan's second film Johnny Gaddar has won encouraging reviews from critics. And he is the first amongst five filmmakers whose second films took time, but hold promise.
Filmmakers whose first films have received critical and commercial success, have a knack of paying tributes in their films to their cinematic influences is something that sets them apart.
Sriram's Johnny Gaddar starts with a salute to Alfred Hitchcock and James Hadley Chase.
His first film Ek Hasina Thi made three years back, is still held high in the list of Bollywood thrillers. This time, Sriram has gone the whole hog with an unusual plot narration and dollops of noir.
"Its a tribute to black and white films like the Asphalt Jungle and Hitchcock's work which was black and white and was all noir. But there are also some other tributes in the film to Indian films," says Raghavan.
Following soon with his own experiment is maverick filmmaker Anurag Kashyap, whose film No Smoking is making buzz with it's surreal look. His first released film that won rave reviews and established his flair for realism. But No Smoking is based on a story that was loosely narrated to him by his mentor Ram Gopal Varma eight years ago. It's also Anurag's attempt at less serious cinema.
"The film is about bad relationships, a dysfunctional families, about mother's not getting along with sons and husband and wife not getting along. The story pertains also to smoking as a bad habit. So I have marked it with tributes that I have grown up in cinema its up to the viewer to unravel these many tributes,” says Kashyap.
And in stark contrast to these two filmmakers is Farah Khan. Her second film Om Shanti Om is perhaps the most talked about forthcoming release. Om Shanti Om, in her own words, is a movie buff's tribute to the 70s Hindi movies.
With her debut Main Hoon Na being a super hit, her second attempt is reported to have earned her huge money, followed by even bigger expectations.
"I have tried not to repeat anything from Main Hoon Na because it would get very boring for the audience to see the same film. I would have liked to follow my heart but this time I have varied the film consciously. It's very different in the sense, it's scale is much larger,” says Farah Khan.
The 70s influence is visible in another second timer Pradip Sircar's Laga Chunari Mein Daag.
Sircar's exotic style won audiences with his debut film Parineeta. This time, with Varanasi and Mumbai being the setting of a small town girl's slide into flesh trade, the film is reminiscent of the 1977 Aaina which was a big hit then.
And last but not the least is Imtiaz Ali, who is ready with his second romantic comedy Jab We Met. His first Socha Na Tha is a refreshing take on love stories worked well. Two years later, his journey based love story with Kareena and Shahid Kapoor is catching attention too.
Having packed in effort and cinematic likes of their own, these second time filmmakers don't just have hopes of box office success riding high, their success might just trigger off some innovation in popular cinema that is here to stay.